LeBron Doesn’t Lose Game 2s


The Cleveland Cavaliers defeated the Chicago Bulls 101-86 in Game 2 of their Eastern Conference Semifinals series Wednesday night. This isn’t a surprise. Since 2009, LeBron James teams are 8-0 in Game 2s following a Game 1 loss. James averages 27.75 points, 7.5 rebounds and 5.6 assists in these contests.


Points Rebounds Assists
May 22, 2009-Eastern Conference Finals: Cavaliers 96, Magic 95 35 four five
May 18, 2011-Eastern Conference Finals: Heat 85, Bulls 75 29 10 five
June 14, 2012-NBA Finals: Heat 100, Thunder 96 32 eight five
May 8, 2013-Eastern Conference Semifinals: Heat 115, Bulls 78 19 five nine
June 9, 2013-NBA Finals: Heat 103, Spurs 84 17 eight seven
May 20, 2014-Eastern Conference Finals: Heat 87, Pacers 83 22 seven six
June 8, 2014-NBA Finals: Heat 98, Spurs 96 35 10 three
May 6, 2015-Eastern Conference Semifinals: Cavaliers 106, Bulls 91 33 eight five
Average margin of victory: 11.5 Average: 27.75 Average: 7.5 Average: 5.6


A Twisted Mock: 32 Words for 32 Picks


Mock drafts are interesting pieces to read or write even though most of them seem to be rehashings. I estimate that 2006 was the last time I wrote one. I don’t care how many selections I guess correctly (I’ll be lucky to get 16 picks right considering all the trades and surprises teams pull on draft night),  but this year, I wanted to write a nuanced mock draft that celebrates one of my favorite drinks, Twisted Tea.



I’ve selected 32 words from Twisted Tea bottles caps, one for each first round selection. I wrote a sentence summarizing each pick using a bottle cap word. I mean no disrespect to mock draft writers and readers, but you can say that with this post, I am mocking the annual mock draft mania that arrives this time of year. Regardless, I hope you find the following entertaining and enjoy the 2015 NFL Draft.


  1. Buccaneers – Jameis Winston – Quarterback – Florida State


Tampa Bay will pick Winston even though he stole crab legs in a similar fashion to that of Harold Berman’s ham theft in a Hey Arnold! episode.

45.2 - Harold Carnicero.mp4_snapshot_01.08_[2012.10.03_09.36.59]


  1. Titans – Marcus Mariota – Quarterback – Oregon


Chip Kelly will cry a river of tears because he can’t draft his favorite Oregon Duckie.

Chip Kelly changing the Rubber Duckie lyrics.
Chip Kelly changing the Rubber Duckie lyrics.


  1. Jaguars – Amari Cooper – Wide Receiver – Alabama


Blake Bortles’ dream for a skilled receiver comes true.


  1. Raiders – Leonard Williams – Defensive End – Southern California


Williams can only help a defensive that recorded just 22 sacks last season.


  1. Washington – Dante Fowler, Jr. – Defensive End/Outside Linebacker – Florida


There won’t be any hesitation to pick Flower in Washington’s “war room” should he drop to this spot.

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Why the Seattle Seahawks will win Super Bowl XLVIII


Perhaps you’ve heard the Seattle Seahawks of the NFC and the Denver Broncos of the AFC will play in Super Bowl XLVIII, the National Football League’s championship game, on Sunday.

Countless analysts appeared on television this week giving their “expert” opinion as to what team they think will win. The truth is you don’t need to know anything about football to know who will win the Super Bowl.

Seattle will win. Here are 10 reasons why.


The NFC champion is 6-5 in the Super Bowl in years the FIFA World Cup takes place.


The NFC champion is 3-1 in the Super Bowl since Chris Christie became New Jersey’s governor.


Teams that wear white jerseys in the Super Bowl are 29-18.


The NFC champion is 21-13 in the Super Bowl since McDonald’s introduced the Happy Meal.


The NFC champion is 4-2 in the Super Bowl since Mad Men premiered.


The NFC champion is 3-2 in the Super Bowl in years a new New York City mayor takes office.


The NFC champion is 9-5 in the Super Bowl in years a Big Ten school wins the Rose Bowl.


The Broncos are 0-3 when they wear orange jerseys in the Super Bowl.


The NFC champion is 13-7 in Super Bowls in years a venue hosts the game for the first time.


The NFC champion is 14-9 in even-numbered Super Bowls.


Based on these facts, the Seahawks will win on Sunday. How will they win the game? What players will make the most impact? Will Richard Sherman take a bite out of a microphone if Erin Andrews interviews after the game? That’s for the football “experts” to figure out.


Why the Denver Broncos will win Super Bowl XLVIII


Perhaps you’ve heard the Seattle Seahawks of the NFC and the Denver Broncos of the AFC will play in Super Bowl XLVIII, the National Football League’s championship game, on Sunday.

Countless analysts appeared on television this week giving their “expert” opinion as to what team they think will win. The truth is you don’t need to know anything about football to know who will win the Super Bowl.

Denver will win. Here are 10 reasons why.


The AFC champion is 2-1 in the Super Bowl in years Leonardo DiCaprio has received an Oscar nomination.

THE WOLF OF WALL STREET_________________

The AFC champion is 8-6 in the Super Bowl since SpongeBob SquarePants premiered.


The Broncos are 15-5 against the Seahawks in years the Winter Olympics take place.


The AFC champion is 10-9 in the Super Bowl since Fox began broadcasting NFL games.


The AFC championship is 2-1 in the Super Bowl in years the Rose Bowl has hosted the BCS National Championship Game.


The AFC champion is 10-8 in the Super Bowl since Bill Watterson published his final Calvin and Hobbes cartoon.


The AFC champion is 6-4 in the Super Bowl since Michael Jordan’s third retirement from the NBA.


The AFC champion is 5-4 in the Super Bowl since Mark Zuckerberg launched Facebook.


Seattle has won 57 games in years an X-Men film premieres in theaters. Denver has won 62.


Seattle has won 174 games since Israel and the Vatican established formal diplomatic relations. Denver has won 202.



Based on these facts, the Broncos will win on Sunday. How will they win the game? What players will make the most impact? How many times will Peyton Manning shout “OMAHA” at the line of scrimmage during the game? That’s for the football “experts” to figure out.


The Michaels and Collinsworth Cliché Carousel: Broncos at Patriots


This blog series follows clichés said by Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth in NBC Sunday Night Football games this season, using the following scoring system:

Clichés: one point

(*Clichés that appear in the Snickers Broadcast Bingo advertisement=two points*) are as follows:

he gives 110 percent, they’re playing smashmouth football, he ran out of real estate, they’re playing against the clock, tack on an extra point, time to go out and execute, marching down the field, they’re in the red zone, time to go big or go home, bet they’d like to have that one back, these guys have got to stick to the game plan, he’s their go-to guy, they can practically taste victory, it’s gonna take a miracle, he’s got a quick first step, gonna have to settle for three, it is what it is, they left it all on the field, he’s got all day to throw it, now they’re just running out the clock, they’ve got to control the line of scrimmage, that’s key to the game, this guy just loves football, it’s gut-check time

Bingos: five points


Game XIII: Denver Broncos (31) at New England Patriots (34)-Nov. 24

  1. One of those games you want to savor-Michaels
  2. A lot of mixing and matching-Michaels
  3. Another big break-Michaels
  4. Short of the first down-Michaels
  5. A big hole-Michaels
  6. A big part of this passing game-Collinsworth
  7. What a difference he’s made-Collinsworth
  8. Ridley coughed it up-Michaels
  9. Coughs it up again-Michaels
  10. Explosive play-Collinsworth
  11. Killed off one of those possessions-Collinsworth
  12. Having a banner season-Michaels
  13. The ball is loose-Michaels
  14. A different story-Michaels
  15. Came out flying-Collinsworth
  16. He’s the closer-Collinsworth
  17. A huge break-Collinsworth
  18. Fights his way-Michaels
  19. Completely banged up-Michaels
  20. Huge hole-Michaels Continue reading

Bryan Paul’s Puzzling NFL Predictions: Week 13 (food and beverage)


Thanksgiving celebrates three “f” words: family, food and football. National Football League games, traditionally featuring the Detroit Lions and the Dallas Cowboys, have been played on Thanksgiving since 1920. Broadcast announcers salute winning team members with honors such as the CBS All-Iron Award and the Fox Galloping Gobbler Award. During his broadcasting career, John Madden awarded players with a turducken, a poultry cornucopia consisting of turkey, duck and chicken.

Food perfectly complements football. Thanksgiving and Super Bowl Sunday are the top two days of food consumption in America, according to the National Chicken Council. Fox Sports said viewers ate 1.25 billion chicken wings during Super Bowl XLVI. NFL pregame tailgating fare ranges from Kansas City barbeque to Green Bay bratwursts.

Drinks also have a role in football. In 2010, TreeHugger.com said Americans drank 325.5 million gallons of beer on Super Bowl Sunday. Bud Light became the official beer sponsor of the NFL in 2011 in an agreement valued at over $1 billion. Pepsi purchased Super Bowl XLVI advertisement time, likely paying around the average of $3.5 billion, according to ESPN, for a 30-second commercial.

Foods and drinks certainly fill football fans’ bellies and the league’s wallet. In honor of Thanksgiving and the many edible and drinkable football connections, the Week 13 predictions theme is foods and beverages.


Green Bay Packers (5-5-1) at Detroit Lions (6-5)-Nov. 28-12:30 p.m.-Fox


The Packers and Lions first played each other on Thanksgiving in 1951, the year Robert O. Peterson founded Jack in the Box. The Lions are 22-31-2 on Thanksgiving since 1951.

Pick: Green Bay


Oakland Raiders (4-7) at Dallas Cowboys (6-5)-Nov. 28-4:30 p.m.-CBS


After being called Monterey Jack’s in 1985, Jack in the Box returned to its original name in 1986, the year the first Five Guys restaurant opened. Dallas is 7-5 on Thanksgiving since 2001, the year Zagat began rating Five Guys on its annual food survey.

Pick: Dallas


Pittsburgh Steelers (5-6) at Baltimore Ravens (5-6)-Nov. 28-8:30 p.m.-NBC


The Zagat Survey began in 1979, the year McDonald’s introduced the Happy Meal. The Steelers are 0-3 on Thanksgiving since 1979.

Pick: Baltimore

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Bryan Paul’s 2013 Puzzling NFL Predictions: Week 12 (the Kennedys)


*This post is following this blog’s tradition of predicting NFL games in a unique and thought-proving way and is by no means trivializing the events that took place on Nov. 22, 1963.*


Fifty years following the assassination of John F. Kennedy, many people continue to be inspired by his presidency’s ideals and ambitions. Following his death, the vast members of the Kennedy family continue to enthrall America’s political and social culture. Numerous books, television specials and films attempt to add insight into America’s 35th president, his family and legacy the Kennedy name carries today.

But can the members of Camelot and other the Kennedy legacy figures and institutions help predict NFL games? To commemorate the life of the 35th President of the United States, the Week 12 predictions theme is John F. Kennedy, the members of the Kennedy family and the institutions that bear the Kennedy name.


New Orleans Saints (8-2) at Atlanta Falcons (2-8)-Nov. 21-8:25 p.m.-NFL Network


Earling Carothers “Jim” Garrison, a former District Attorney of Orleans Parish, Louisiana known for his investigations into the Kennedy assassination, died in 1992. Since his death, the Saints are 131-130 against NFC teams.

Pick: New Orleans


Pittsburgh Steelers (4-6) at Cleveland Browns (4-6)-Nov. 24-1 p.m.-CBS


Kevin Costner portrayed Garrison in the 1991 film JFK. Pittsburgh is 234-141-1 since the film’s release.

Pick: Pittsburgh


Carolina Panthers (7-3) at Miami Dolphins (5-5)-Nov. 24-1 p.m.-Fox


Oliver Stone, director of JFK, was  born in 1946. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who married Maria Shriver, JFK’s niece in 1986, was also born in 1946. Since the couple separated in 2011, the Dolphins are 18-24.

Pick: Carolina


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