Why the Seattle Seahawks will win Super Bowl XLVIII

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Perhaps you’ve heard the Seattle Seahawks of the NFC and the Denver Broncos of the AFC will play in Super Bowl XLVIII, the National Football League’s championship game, on Sunday.

Countless analysts appeared on television this week giving their “expert” opinion as to what team they think will win. The truth is you don’t need to know anything about football to know who will win the Super Bowl.

Seattle will win. Here are 10 reasons why.

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The NFC champion is 6-5 in the Super Bowl in years the FIFA World Cup takes place.

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The NFC champion is 3-1 in the Super Bowl since Chris Christie became New Jersey’s governor.

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Teams that wear white jerseys in the Super Bowl are 29-18.

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The NFC champion is 21-13 in the Super Bowl since McDonald’s introduced the Happy Meal.

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The NFC champion is 4-2 in the Super Bowl since Mad Men premiered.

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The NFC champion is 3-2 in the Super Bowl in years a new New York City mayor takes office.

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The NFC champion is 9-5 in the Super Bowl in years a Big Ten school wins the Rose Bowl.

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The Broncos are 0-3 when they wear orange jerseys in the Super Bowl.

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The NFC champion is 13-7 in Super Bowls in years a venue hosts the game for the first time.

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The NFC champion is 14-9 in even-numbered Super Bowls.

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Based on these facts, the Seahawks will win on Sunday. How will they win the game? What players will make the most impact? Will Richard Sherman take a bite out of a microphone if Erin Andrews interviews after the game? That’s for the football “experts” to figure out.

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Why the Denver Broncos will win Super Bowl XLVIII

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Perhaps you’ve heard the Seattle Seahawks of the NFC and the Denver Broncos of the AFC will play in Super Bowl XLVIII, the National Football League’s championship game, on Sunday.

Countless analysts appeared on television this week giving their “expert” opinion as to what team they think will win. The truth is you don’t need to know anything about football to know who will win the Super Bowl.

Denver will win. Here are 10 reasons why.

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The AFC champion is 2-1 in the Super Bowl in years Leonardo DiCaprio has received an Oscar nomination.

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The AFC champion is 8-6 in the Super Bowl since SpongeBob SquarePants premiered.

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The Broncos are 15-5 against the Seahawks in years the Winter Olympics take place.

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The AFC champion is 10-9 in the Super Bowl since Fox began broadcasting NFL games.

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The AFC championship is 2-1 in the Super Bowl in years the Rose Bowl has hosted the BCS National Championship Game.

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The AFC champion is 10-8 in the Super Bowl since Bill Watterson published his final Calvin and Hobbes cartoon.

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The AFC champion is 6-4 in the Super Bowl since Michael Jordan’s third retirement from the NBA.

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The AFC champion is 5-4 in the Super Bowl since Mark Zuckerberg launched Facebook.

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Seattle has won 57 games in years an X-Men film premieres in theaters. Denver has won 62.

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Seattle has won 174 games since Israel and the Vatican established formal diplomatic relations. Denver has won 202.

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Based on these facts, the Broncos will win on Sunday. How will they win the game? What players will make the most impact? How many times will Peyton Manning shout “OMAHA” at the line of scrimmage during the game? That’s for the football “experts” to figure out.

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