Why the Denver Broncos will win Super Bowl XLVIII

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Perhaps you’ve heard the Seattle Seahawks of the NFC and the Denver Broncos of the AFC will play in Super Bowl XLVIII, the National Football League’s championship game, on Sunday.

Countless analysts appeared on television this week giving their “expert” opinion as to what team they think will win. The truth is you don’t need to know anything about football to know who will win the Super Bowl.

Denver will win. Here are 10 reasons why.

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The AFC champion is 2-1 in the Super Bowl in years Leonardo DiCaprio has received an Oscar nomination.

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The AFC champion is 8-6 in the Super Bowl since SpongeBob SquarePants premiered.

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The Broncos are 15-5 against the Seahawks in years the Winter Olympics take place.

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The AFC champion is 10-9 in the Super Bowl since Fox began broadcasting NFL games.

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The AFC championship is 2-1 in the Super Bowl in years the Rose Bowl has hosted the BCS National Championship Game.

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The AFC champion is 10-8 in the Super Bowl since Bill Watterson published his final Calvin and Hobbes cartoon.

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The AFC champion is 6-4 in the Super Bowl since Michael Jordan’s third retirement from the NBA.

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The AFC champion is 5-4 in the Super Bowl since Mark Zuckerberg launched Facebook.

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Seattle has won 57 games in years an X-Men film premieres in theaters. Denver has won 62.

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Seattle has won 174 games since Israel and the Vatican established formal diplomatic relations. Denver has won 202.

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Based on these facts, the Broncos will win on Sunday. How will they win the game? What players will make the most impact? How many times will Peyton Manning shout “OMAHA” at the line of scrimmage during the game? That’s for the football “experts” to figure out.

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